Inch by Inch

This week I have been surrounded by inch worms and I think God is telling me something.
The weather has been nice and I have catapulted myself outside Tuesday and Thursday afternoon of this week and today.

Tuesday night after we had a family hike, Kevin was pulling inch worms off of me.

Today- I sat with my sweet Sophia in the "castle" of our playset.  She played with an inchworm and I sat and read for sermon prep, but mostly watched her marvel at the inch worm and then saw several around me.  I became drawn in by the inchworms, spiders, and ants that surrounded on the rickety and loved playset.

They just hung around me by threads.

There is so much that is unknown.

In two months our lives are changing.  My amazing husband is taking a leave of absence from ministry. He is not giving up on ministry, but stepping back to answer another call or perhaps it is the same call with another branch... He feels called to teach and is pursuing this call.  He'll need to go back to school, he's taking tests, filling out applications, submitting resumes and trying to secure a job all while still caring for his congregation.
I am in awe of him.

I am in awe of God who I know has gone ahead of us in this.  I know we are not going haphazardly into the unknown, its charted by my Maker-- I just don't know the way yet.

Most days I'm good.  I don't really ever feel confidant--- but I feel assurance.
Today I felt super overwhelmed.
And I think that is why God made me be still and see all the inch worms.
Sophia picked them up and they went way off track by this crazy giant girl.  And then she sets them down and they keep on plugging away, inching away.  They hang there by this thread seemingly hanging in space and they just inch on.

I realized today that I hadn't made a few calls or done a visit I had hoped to do.
Every day-- there is more and more and more I could do and should have done and didn't get to.

I have always struggled with enough ness--- but talking with a clergywoman friend this week I wonder if its even more as a pastor.  I feel such a compulsion to do so much.... Its as if I see need everywhere and I cannot relieve it fast enough.

I have much to learn from inch worms.

I walk past the bulletin board in the church and see that I haven't gotten around to changing nor have I developed a team to do so yet... I remember that I haven't yet organized this meeting, or built up this leadership here or there, or remembered to call and check on this family, or followed up with that family, I haven't sent the thank you notes that I want to do, I can go on and on and on... and sometimes I will write "what I did" list.. and that's all well and good.....

The laundry had piled, and yet I'm thankful that I spent some time to just play with my girls, that I fell asleep reading to Gracie the other night, that I've had time to make my family dinner every night...

I have a lot to learn from inch worms.... and I need to read some Annie Dillard again.

I have no idea what is coming.  I have no idea how we will make it on just my salary.  I have no idea what life will look like.  Kevin is applying for various teaching positions and hoping to have something and be going to school too.... we hang by this thread inching along.  The thread is strong.  God holds us.

On our trip home recently from visiting family in Florida-- we got off the interstate and took a more enjoyable route.  We knew it added a bit more time-- but it was so lovely. We needed some enjoyable quality time just us.
I said something to Kevin about how I didn't worry about the destination or getting home "on time"
we had everything we needed.  How lovely just to drive, share conversation, see beauty and enjoy the ride.

So much of my personality and call is about being on fire.  I often feel just sparked alive with passion and propelled forward.  I feel as though I am being led and pulled, I too often feel as though heaping coals of vision are dumped on my heart and I have thousands of flames ignited and I am not yet sure of what they will catch on to.  Too many visions... so many dreams... ideas after idea....

And while that is so true... this week I have just felt set down.
I've felt humbled and observant.
 somewhat paralyzed.


And perhaps I've just needed to watch inchworms.

Praying with the News

You've heard that Karl Barth said to "read the Bible in one hand, and the newspaper in the other."

That has been so very true.
And never more true than today.
I feel like every day I am pelted with bad news.
 A young life born able to breathe a day, Stabbings, killings, bombings, blow ups...

And today I learned that a woman I went to college with was murdered yesterday by her husband.       I didn't know her well- but I remember her.  She has a two year old daughter.  My heart breaks.

Every since I saw this my heart and my mind cannot move forward - so I stop and I pray.

I open by bible and flip straight to Psalms.  And I read until God speaks to my pain.

Psalm 4

¹ Answer me when I call to you,
    my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
    have mercy on me and hear my prayer.

² How long will you people turn my glory into shame?
    How long will you love delusions and seek false gods?
³ Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself;
    the Lord hears when I call to him.

⁴ Tremble and do not sin;
    when you are on your beds,
    search your hearts and be silent.
⁵ Offer the sacrifices of the righteous
    and trust in the Lord.

⁶ Many, Lord, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?”
    Let the light of your face shine on us.
⁷ Fill my heart with joy
    when their grain and new wine abound.

⁸ In peace I will lie down and sleep,
    for you alone, Lord,
    make me dwell in safety.
As I read I start crying.  Images of happy families who are now broken, images of smoke and destruction, pain and sadness just flood my heart.

I call my husband.  And we pray together.
I love that on Mondays we have chosen to work from home.  (It is nice to slow down on Monday after Sunday and focus on scripture, prayer, study, and the next Sunday's bulletin and message).

His strong arm wraps around me warm, comforting, secure and he prays.

We rise.


There are things to get done and we can go on with God.

The world holds so much destruction. God Creates.
God is our Creator still creating.
And today is Earth Day.


This morning I met with a man who lost his wife yesterday.
He has over 100 varieties of azalea's.  His home is a museum of Native American art and artifacts. I gathered with the family this morning to plan the Celebration of his wife's life.  I loved being them.  He showed me his treasures.  We walked in the beauty of his garden.

After preschool, I pushed my daughter on the swing.  The wind blew, birds sang, everything was alive around me. 
My heart rejoiced at the beauty of God's presence and my heart ached thinking of a young woman my age who has been robbed of the joy of being with her daughter.

There is so much bad news. It comes and goes and there is a 24hr news cycle that will tell you every detail.  There are smart phone updates that ding and give me bullet points of the brokenness.

I cling to the Gospel.  It is Good News.

I pray and I pray.  I read this Good News.  I hug my children closer.

 The other night I read to the girls about Margaret Mead.  It was from my favorite series of books when I was growing up.  I said to Kevin something about how it would be cool to live in intentional community, to constantly teach our children about love and truth and peace and justice.  Once I made Kevin watch a documentary about Intentional Communities when we were in seminary.  My wonderful introverted husband was not up for it.  I think I daydream sometimes in a grass greener way that if we did life that way we'd have more time, we'd be more intentionally focused on peace.  There would be less destruction… I admire the work of intentional communities…yet I think living in the regular (for lack of a better word) world takes  a lot of courage.

 I love how Rev. Lillian Daniel says, “These people are always informing you that they find God in the sunsets. Well, excuse me, as if people who go to church didn’t see God in a sunset. You know, my take is that any idiot can find God in the sunset. What is remarkable is finding God in the context of flawed human community, and a tradition bigger than you, and with people who may not reflect God back to you in your own image.”

I know that in the midst of destruction, we have a Creator God.

In the midst of sadness, death, and heartbreak- I have a Savior whose heart longs for me and who died for us all and who is the architect of hope.

In the midst of all this pain for God’s people, the Spirit pours over a comfort  over the earth.

Almighty God,
Thank you for hope.
Thank you Lord for your love.
As the news rolls in, as we scroll the updates and laugh at cat pictures, we see happy families, and mouth water at recipes gaurd our hearts when we hit the bad news.
We know the reality.
We are not dreamers.  
We are believers.
We do know reality.
We know a reality which proclaims
that love wins, peace pours, and justice rolls down like waters.
We know a reality of Hope.
We pray we will live in and into your kingdom.
May we usher in this hope in every moment.
May your light crack open our dark pain.
We pray in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Amen.

Saturday Night Preacher Prayer

Help me Lord.
O Help me, help me, help me.
Help me preach tomorrow.
Help me hold them tomorrow.
Help me help us to lay it at all your feet.
Help me to help us see you and know you and hope in you.
Help us to welcome your presence and give you these burdens.
Help me to to help us give thanks even though we are so angry and sad and angry and fearful and overwhelmed with vengence and pain and confusion.
Help me pastor and love them.
Help me usher in your hope and presence.
Help me proclaim the truth that your kingdom will and is coming.
Help me speak the truth and reality of your love , presence, and protection.
Help me be the pastor and the preacher they need and you want me to be.
Help our hearts to dwell in your heart and your heart invade our hearts.
Give me strength.
Hold me up.
Speak in and through me.
Sustain me by the power of your Holy Spirit.
I am yours.
Thank you Lord.
Thank you for your never failing love.
I cling to you and I will not let you go.
Hold tight to me.
Hold us tight.
In you everlasting never-failing love,
Amen.  

Call to Worship for Prayer

I wrote this call to worship for Sunday-- I preached on Prayer and I taught the kids about ACTS- Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication-- so I wrote the Call to Worship to go with it!

*CALL TO WORSHIP

Leader: We are here Lord to adore you!

People: We raise our hands in praise to you!

Leader: We come confessing our sin and laying our brokenness before you.

People: We bow washed in your forgiveness and made whole in your steadfast love!

Leader: We are here Lord to give you thanks!

People: We kneel offering ourselves with our prayers, presence, gifts, service, and witness!

Leader: We come seeking you God, with our prayers and supplication.

People: Lord, You always hear our pleas and we pray that we may hear you this day!

Prayer for the Church

Almighty God,

I pray for your church.

The world is so broken

Your Church is broken.

Your call and your love and your grace are so big.

The fruit you bear through those you call is so vital.

And yet, We forget the fruit that is hard to reach.

We give up.

Who you call is not limited by age, gender, race, status, orientation, disability

The church churns out leaders who fit a certain mold

While so many people go unreached

And we wonder

Why aren’t we reaching people?

The answer is because our practice of church reveals that we really don’t care about some people.

We really don’t want some people.

We don’t really love everybody

And we are not Jesus.

And the kingdom has not come.

How can the church be the Body of Christ when we refuse to love parts of the body?

When we judge on narrow standards we limit our seeing

We limit our reach

We limit our fruit.

We are not measuring effectiveness, we are measuring sameness.

We are not seeking mission

We seek security.

Lord, I lament the pain the church causes.

I pray for healing and wholeness and peace.

I pray for those whom the church limits

I pray their spirits may not be crushed.

I pray their gifts will not go unused.

I pray the church will wake up.

I remember the days when the church started fires for you Lord

I remember the days when the church led change for justice

I remember the days when the church sought after those on the outside

Without those who are outsiders

Our church will fail… and for too many it already has.

Help us Lord.

Hold us Lord.

Fill us Holy Spirit.

Guide our Feet.

Tell us where to go.

I hope we listen.

Ignite us!

Scandalous Love

Rev. Beth Anderson

“Scandalous Love”

A Different Kind of Christmas Sermon Series

1 Corinthians 13: 1-13

December 16, 2012

How many of you have heard this passage before?

Many of us are familiar with this passage – we hear it read at weddings.  It is written on Hallmark cards. 

It is a beautiful passage about what love is and how love is to be.

For many of us it has become like a poem, lovely words—we’ve made it romantic, sweet, —but unrealistic, impractical…set us aside.  We dismiss this kind of love as – not possible.

It especially can seem removed from us in the face of tragedy.

Today our country is grieving. We’re hurting, angry, sad…

How do we possibly go on? 

How do we believe in a loving God?

How can we believe that God would love us- when people- humanity- can do such destructive things?

These past few days … it’s been as if we’ve have lived in horror.

Our reactions often make us want to withdraw and give up. 

Our reactions often lead quickly to blame, condemnation, fear, and hatred. 

Confronted with the sin and pain and brokenness of humanity we often detach, hide, feel shame and run from God—we repeat the story Adam and Eve. 

And yet God seeks us.

In these moments- we want to ask WHY?  Why does this happen?

There are no answers that can explain the why’s we ask when pain, tragedy, and brokenness erupt…

But there is an answer as to Where… Where is God?

The answer is found in our Advent and Christmas.

What does Christmas mean? I think so often we’ve trivialized Christmas to be about everything but the true meaning.

While we want to withdraw from pain when it confronts us-- God does not stay removed, but enters in.

Christmas is the heralding of the incredible truth that God comes entering into darkness, bringing forth light. 

Where is God?

God comes in the Incarnation.

Where is God?  Emmanuel- God is with US

God loves us – when we would give up and run from humanity-

--- because loving and holding and being in relationship is just too hard—God seeks and pursues. 

God comes—and never gives up.

 “The Incarnation is the revelation of God’s scandalous love affair with humanity.”[i]

Christmas tells us that God so loved the world that he sent his only Son .

God sent his son out love…

God sent His Son to bring healing to our brokenness.

God sent his Son so that this life would never be the end. 

God sent his Son so that we could forever live in His steadfast love. 

God sent his Son not to condemn us, but to save us. 

This is a different kind of love than many have experienced.

Right now---We need this love more than ever. 

In the last few days I have had little motivation to do anything other than hug my children.

I’m sure many of you have felt the same.

We cling to our loved ones. 

Let us also cling closer to the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 Christ seeks to hold us.

The book of Hosea tells this incredible story of God’s scandalous, unwavering love- that wants to hold us and love us.   

It’s a book that has a lot to say about the human propensity to give up on God- but even more so- it vividly reminds us of our God who persistently pursues us.  It tells a shocking story helping us to understand Why God would love a people who “don’t deserve it”? 

Here this from Hosea 1: 2-3

“When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to him, “Go marry a prostitute and have children with her, for the people of Israel have acted like a prostitute by deserting the Lord.” (CEP and NLT)³ So Hosea married Gomer, the daughter of Diblaim, and she became pregnant and bore him a son.

During Israel’s last days of growth and prosperity under Jeroboam II the Israelites wandered from the Lord who had brought them to freedom from slavery.  They gave up on God.  And yet, God demonstrates unrelenting love for His people by telling Hosea to go and marry a wife of “whoredom.”  Can you imagine choosing to love someone who you know will disappoint you?  Who will betray you?  They will be unfaithful—you will feel broken and wrecked but you will love them?  You will keep the covenant and they will betray it?

Who would knowingly set themselves up for such a life of torment?

This is how God loves.

Paul says in Romans, “All of  have sinned and fall short of God’s glory, but all are treated as righteous freely by his grace because of a ransom that was paid by Christ Jesus.”  [ii]

This is how God loves.

God willfully chooses us even though God knows we will be unfaithful.

Hosea says, “The Lord said to me, “God, show your love to your wife again, though …she is an adulteress.  Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods…”[iii]

How does God love?

When we would give up—when we would judge, ridicule, abandon…

God will relentlessly pursue!

The Good News of God’s Word is the love letter from God revealing how God is persistently working for the restoration of all creation.

How is any of it possible?

It is only possible through the healing, redeeming grace of God in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

This is why Christ came for us.

It is God becoming like us, for us, to love us.

God-- is perfect, steadfast, always loving, never sinning,

We--are imperfect, wavering, quick to judge, spew hate, sinners

Incarnation is scandalous.

Can you imagine loving like God? 

Your first response- love?  Coming quickly to enter into darkness?

Can you imagine being Hosea? Rejected over and over again, betrayed, loving someone who consistently commits adultery—

It’s beyond our imagination and understanding.

Yet this is the scandalous love of God—God loves us and wants a relationship with us even while we remain under influence lured by unworthy lovers- greed, selfishness, addiction, deceit, evil…

“Christ died for us while we were yet sinners”[iv]

God could have given up on this world that constantly turned its back on Him…

The incarnation is scandalous--- – God becoming flesh – to be with us—To want us—TO LOVE US—All of us--

But also, imagine the scandal for Mary

She could have felt completely betrayed and abandoned by God.

Do you know what people could have done to her?

She could have been stoned!

Joseph too – would have been mocked—whispers behind his back. 

Assumptions.

Instead of turning from God in what could be a fearful time

Where she could have wondered what is God doing?

She praises God- It did not matter what anyone would say about her condition—she clung to the promise of God. She focused not on possible anxieties or the challenges that lay before her—her vision was set on the scandalous love of God who promised her a future of hope! 

“My Soul magnifies the Lord!” She sung. 

Mary chose to trust and live in the scandalous love of God!

Do you trust His love for you?

Do you know that nothing can separate you from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord?

Do you know that God loves you and there is nothing you can do about it?

To know this means that you magnify the Lord to everyone and anyone--- you share scandalous love!

Scandalous love enters into darkness and shines light.

Scandalous love counteracts hatred.

After being imprisoned for holding a prayer service in 1962 outside of city hall in Albany, GA, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote this “Why should we love…? The first reason is fairly obvious. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that… hate scars the soul and distorts the personality.” [1]

Why should Hosea have loved Gomer?

Why should Mary have trusted when she could have feared?

 Why should God love the world and all humanity?

Scandalous Love – sent in the grace and power of the Incarnation is our answer.

We have a choice and an invitation

We can abandon and hide, we can seek blame, be filled with hate seeing only darkness,  barricading ourselves in fear so that we don’t ever get hurt… 

Or we can choose light and accept an invitation to walk in light looking to Jesus who is Scandalous Love incarnate.

Christmas is the celebration that this Love has come.

Advent is a time where we remember that we do not yet live in a world where the love of Christ reigns complete.

But we wait and look and live in hope knowing that Christ still is present, our Savior still loves, and Messiah our King will come again bringing the kingdom.

Until that time—may we see the glimpses of this kingdom by living out the Scandalous Love of our Savior.

Amen.

---

[1] P. 53, Strength to Love, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 1981 First Fortress Press edition.

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[i] Slaughter, Mike “Christmas is Not Your Birthday” page 11

[ii] Romans 3: 23-24

[iii] Hosea 3:1

[iv] Romans 5:8